I never lie to you, folks. So I’ve got to be honest. I’m not really sure how I feel about this past year. It stands out as one of those years that felt like maybe it was a couple of different years put together. Did you ever have one of those?
Like, I think I’ll look back and not remember that all the events and experiences fit into a single year.
Not necessarily in a bad way. Not all troubles and trauma. More like a crazy mashup of things that don’t seem to go together. Time both slowed down, and it also sped up in places.
The words bizarre and surreal keep coming to mind.
If I awoke tomorrow to find this has all been a very lucid dream, I don’t believe I’d be astonished.
I have often found myself seeking out the small black painter’s canvas on my office wall. The one painted with an Edgar Allan Poe quote in red letters: In all the I see and seem, Am I the dreamer or just the dream.
Well, if this is slipping into insanity, then I can attest that it is mostly a warm and relaxing feeling. On the other hand, if this were one of my novels (and it may be), I would, at the conclusion, most certainly discover my own dead body along with the realization that I am the ghost haunting my house.
In truth, it’s not as simple as insanity nor as dramatic as being a blogging ghost.
That surreality (is that a word? It is now) is the result of holding my breath for three years (figuratively speaking).
But I am breathing again.
I am also settling into the idea of a new life. Hopeful and full of plans and ambition for the first time in a few years. Angry over the time I’ve given away, and excited about all the wondrous things that lie ahead.
Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what all the wondrous things might be, but I am damn confident I deserve every single one of them!!!
If that sounds overly optimistic, I’m okay with that too. Having tried the power of negative thought, in 2020, I’m going back to sipping from the glass half full.
I mean, doesn’t Winnie the pooh get more from the day than Eeyore?
Now, the good news is that it is both “Resolution” tradition, and in the by-laws, that the “new you” is not allowed to start until January 2nd. So, I don’t actually have to do anything for the next few weeks except enjoy the idea of enjoying all those new and great things.
That’s also why you got this post instead of one of the dozens of excellent, inspiring, wise, funny posts I could have provided. You don’t waste that level of genius in December – duh. You save if for when people are actually reading blogs.
And let me tell you, in my mind, I have got some great writings for 2020 (in my mind, the actual user experience may vary).
But since this is my last post for the very strange 2019, I wanted to wish each of you a Merry Everything and a Happy Always!
See ya on the other side.